Time to Move on…From Anxiety
I love the start of football season—until I’m hit with the familiar rush of anxiety that comes with being a fan. As a Notre Dame and Indianapolis Colts devotee, this past weekend? Rough.
20 years ago, that kind of weekend would have wrecked me. Seriously. I was that fan. And even now, during Notre Dame games, I can still turn into a hot mess.
It’s funny, though, how millions of Americans claim sports are relaxing, when they actually tend to bring out our most anxious, competitive sides. Or maybe that's just me?
Every season, I tell my son, “Maybe I should quit sports. Being a fan is just pain.” Time to move on from sports? I don’t know.
But it got me thinking about something bigger I’ve been mulling over lately: Anxiety.
Last week I was having coffee with an Anglican priest, and we found ourselves deep in a conversation about the anxiety that’s practically woven into the fabric of our culture, especially within Evangelical circles. When I mentioned my favorite leadership book, his eyes lit up—we were both fans. We started digging into this bedrock of pain that so much of society seems to be standing on.
It’s time to move on from anxiety.
I went back to my highlights from the book. Edwin Friedman, a rabbi, therapist, and author of A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, wrote:
“The climate of contemporary America has become so chronically anxious that our society has gone into an emotional regression. This regression, despite the plethora of self-help literature and the many well-intentioned human rights movements, is characterized principally by a devaluing and denigration of the well-differentiated self…The anxiety is so deep within the emotional processes of our nation that it is almost as though a neurosis has become nationalized.”
Here’s what’s both interesting and tragic: So much of our leadership culture, in and out of the church, is built on this anxiety—this desperate, performance-driven pain. It's toxic, and it’s not in line with the gospel of Christ.
There’s no shortage of leadership and self-help books out there, but I strongly encourage you to read Friedman’s A Failure of Nerve. It’s a prophetic warning, a burning bush that scorches through the mess of what we’ve called “leadership” in American culture. Published nearly 30 years ago after his death, the urgency to get his message out is palpable.
Friedman paints a clear picture of how anxiety fuels so much of what we’re devoted to, whether it’s politics, church, or even sports:
Politics: Both major parties use anxiety to fuel loyalty, convincing us that the other side will ruin everything. Fear and selfishness just keep throwing gas on the fire of national anxiety.
Mega-churches: Growth-oriented churches often ride on the anxiety of production, success, and numbers. But when we measure success like that, what do we make of Jesus at the cross? His “big moment” had all of three people there—His mom, Mary Magdalene, and John. (Sarcasm here, but you get the point: Jesus's ministry wasn’t about numbers.)
Sports fandom: Take a look at the crowd shots during a game. Relaxed? Not even close. And don’t even get me started on youth sports. I’m a total wreck!
Friedman also calls out the tendency of anxious communities (and families, including church families) to fixate on outsiders rather than looking inward:
Black-and-white thinking: Churches obsessed with drawing lines and crafting rigid belief statements aren’t being Spirit-led; they’re being anxiety-led. I wrote about this a couple weeks ago.
Blame the culture (outsiders): As religious participation has plummeted in our culture, churches and pastors have become prone to pointing fingers at “the culture”, instead of facing their internal issues that are driving people away.
So how do we move on from anxiety?
Adventure
You have to leave the familiar behind. Jesus didn’t tell the disciples to stick to their comfort zones; He said, “Drop your nets and follow me.” What’s shaped you up to now—your cultural, religious, family, emotional habits—may not be bad, but they are contributing to your anxiety. The only way to see that clearly is to step out of them for a while.
Is there an adventurous idea that’s been stirring in you? Maybe now’s the time to act on it.
Pursue Healing
This one’s hard because it requires vulnerability. Healing comes through submission to others you trust: a trauma therapist, a non-anxious mentor, or maybe the Holy Spirit through contemplative prayer. Real rest might mean taking a vacation, getting into nature, or talking to your doctor. What sounds restorative to you? Chase after that.
For churches and pastors:
This means focusing on the long game. The goal isn’t fast growth or instant impact.The goal is generational change.
Jesus didn’t measure success by numbers or by a timeline that fit our expectations. He ministered for 3 years to a group of 12-72 people. But His greatest impact has come through the generations after His resurrection. That’s the kind of change churches need to aim for today.
A lot of what we do in this lifetime won’t even be measured until long after we’re gone. And maybe that’s the point.